Husbands and Lies

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Although the familiarity in the tone of those texts did not ring true for just a one-night stand, when I asked you, yet again you reassured me. You arranged for me to go to a Relate appointment with you the very next day, to which I'd agreed. Five minutes before we were due to go in for our session, you broke the devastating news that you had indeed been having an affair — for 18 months.

My world fell apart.

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I was utterly distraught. You were my world — my friend, my only lover — and you had completely betrayed and hurt me to a degree beyond my comprehension. You had also spent some of our family money on this woman and taken her away for weekends. You said you had purchased several bottles of wine every time you met her, as you put it, to help you "do the deed" as it was "just drunken sex".

You bought her flowers, a photographic memory book with pictures of you together and a necklace for her birthday.

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You took her away to several concerts, including the V festival. You took her for a night in a hotel the day after Valentine's day, which was also a couple of days before her birthday. And all that time you were lying to me about who you were seeing and what you were doing. I was so trusting. The woman is a work colleague and you obviously still see her every day, even though you have said you are no longer "seeing" her. I am not sure that I believe you after so many lies for so long. Unfortunately, I will never know whether you are still seeing her, as you can just do as you please now because you are no longer with me.

Husbands and Lies

You fooled me so well. You continue to treat me despicably. He is! It's obvious he is.

But it spares his feelings when I tell him he isn't overweight at all, and that's the important thing. My husband is not the dashing young man I married anymore.

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Other people may find him the hottest thing on the planet, but I sure don't anymore. I'm at peace with this. If he knew that, he wouldn't be, but there's no point telling him. So, of course, I tell him I still think he's God's gift to women. It'd be cruel to shatter his illusions.

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My husband does not make sound purchasing decisions. It's baffling to me that after having been married for so long he still doesn't know my tastes at all. All the same, it's the thought that counts. My husband put thought into each gift, however wrong he may be, and the thought is what makes each gift meaningful. That's what I appreciate most of all.

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Of course I mind! My life would be so much easier if he could stay home to help with the kids. My morning would be a thousand times more pleasant if I did not have to deal with the hangover monster from hell. Inevitably, I tell him I am fine with him going out. I tell him I hope he has a good time. I tell him me and the kids won't even notice he's gone. In his absence, I make dinner, do housework, and get the kids bathed and to bed.

It's not my ideal evening, but I know how important it is for my husband to get a chance to meet up with his friends. Those old things? So, when they arrive all fresh and new, they get stuffed in the back of the wardrobe for safe keeping until enough time has passed to use the usual excuse! My food tastes and looks so much better. He has worked so, so hard to get to where he is, and I would be the worst wife in the world to get in the way of that.

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